Love of vaping vs. love of smoking – journal entry #3

As my quit smoking journey continues, my love of vaping grows stronger by the day. What to do, if anything at all?


Three months, 92 days, 2,208 hours. Yay me! I’ve been cigarette free since July 6 (with the exception of a four-day blip that I keep mentioning in my updates but the more time that passes, the more meaningless it is, so I shall write about that blip no more).

I talked extensively about the advantages of vaping in a post I wrote just a few days into this, my 423rd attempt to quit smoking (or thereabouts). There’s one thing I didn’t mention, though, because I hadn’t experienced it yet.

I puffed on my vape at the airport.

Yep. Crazy, huh? I vaped at the airport this morning. Not once, but twice. Both times, I stood in a washroom cubicle and had a couple of glorious puffs before flushing the toilet so as not to arouse suspicion.

No alarms went off. No security guards came to get me. I got to have my nicotine fix without interruption. Serious score, me thinks. Then again, this does bring a wee concern to mind. I mean, my love of vaping is so strong, I stood in a washroom cubicle and vaped. How incredibly sad is that?

Yes, it’s great if you’re looking for a last-minute hit of nicotine, but the thing is I started vaping to kick a smoking habit and while yes, I’ve given up the cigarettes, I seem to have acquired a new addiction, because come on people – you don’t stand in a public washroom stall vaping because you want to; you do it because you need to!

Love of vaping image #2

Looks like I’ve traded in one habit for another.

When I started vaping, I decided I’d only vape outdoors. After all, I’d never smoked inside my home so why start now? But I slowly talked myself out of that decision. My vape doesn’t smell. Second-hand vape isn’t an issue (that I know of). And it never rains or snows in my living room. So what’s the harm?

Dang it, now I’m puffing on that thing all day and all evening.

Every now and then I think I’ve lost it and I get hit with major anxiety, like I do when I’ve misplaced my cell phone. Picking up smokes from the corner store, no problem. Finding a vape at 7 in the morning, not so easy. (Side note: don’t give up your landline if you live alone; it’s always important to have a second phone handy so that you locate your own with a quick phone call.)

Did you catch my last quit smoking update?

In it, I shared my intention to transition from 3 mg of nicotine to zero mg. When the time came, though, I simply wasn’t ready. I’ve hit a bit of a road block.

Nicotine itself, within moderation, is no more of a concern than a couple of cups of coffee a day. The thing is, one cup of coffee doesn’t lead to another, and another and another, whereas nicotine feeds the desire for more nicotine, and then more and more, and suddenly, while I may not be overdosing on nicotine, I’m vaping a whole lot more than I ever thought I would and this concerns me.

While I’d like to indulge my love of vaping with abandon, the research has me a little cautious.

I’m confident that my love of vaping is doing me way less harm than the 15 cigarettes I was smoking a day when I last quit, but the fact is, I have no clue what harm it may be causing me.

Contrary to what I thought, a ton of research has been done, but how do I know that the pro-vaping reports aren’t skewed? Take this vaping article, for example. The guy that wrote it creates and markets vape juice. While I want to inhale every word he has to say, to do so seems like a pretty naive move on my part.

My husband keeps telling me I vape too much, and asking me to cut back.

I definitely do want to cut back, but I can’t say that I ever plan to cut it out completely.

My vision when I started was that I’d have this yummy treat I could enjoy without serious detriment. A few puffs here. A few puffs there. A back-up plan to keep me cigarette-free if I find myself near a convenience store after a few too many drinks. But it’s clearly more than a treat to me. It’s become a vice, so I’m going to try and slow things down.

How, exactly, remains to be seen, but I have a few ideas percolating. I’ll let you know what I come up with this time next month. Cheerio for now!


Want to quit smoking? Research suggests that vaping causes 95% less harm than smoking cigarettes. When I started vaping, I was absolutely blown away by how it hit the spot. Here’s my experience.

 

 

 

 

By | 2017-11-27T15:15:11+00:00 October 6th, 2017|4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Yesenia October 11, 2017 at 8:38 pm - Reply

    I can’t imagine how hard it must be to stop smoking. I have never smoked so I don’t know how it feels. But you’re very strong for trying. The vaping thing does sound like you have replaced one vice with another. How you will quit this one is beyond me. But I do wish you the best of luck and I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice.

    • THE WORDY MOM October 12, 2017 at 4:18 pm - Reply

      Thanks – it’s a conundrum indeed!

  2. Stephen November 13, 2017 at 4:24 pm - Reply

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I can totally relate. I started vaping in 2015 and loved that it was the first thing that made it easy to stay away from smoking. My vaping habit progressed to the point that it was the first thing I did when I rolled out of bed, and the last thing I did before sleep. I was sneaking hits all the time, and generally just averse to the idea of being idle without it. I’d force myself to leave it in another room, which would work for a period, but there is something deceptive and enticing about the idea that it’s “harmless”, and I’d be back to feeding and growing the habit before long. It’s my mini escape, but it just makes me want to escape more and more, and that’s not a place I need to be. I had to accept at some point that I was seriously hooked; it was wasting time and money, and it was becoming a major life distraction. I don’t like being chemically dependent on an adult pacifier/nicotine drip to moderate my mood.

    Now, as of November 2017, I’ve been trying to quit vaping for 11 months, since about New Years. Like you, 0mg just doesn’t do it — no throat hit, no little nic fix. I’ve gone through snus, nicotine gum and lozenges, which worked for a few weeks or a month, but that sweet vapor nectar just keeps creeping back in. I quit all nicotine, cold turkey, for the month of September, then decided I’d make it an “occasional” thing (famous last words). I got sucked right back in after about 2 weeks of “moderate” vaping (going a day or two between), and now I’m stuck in an every other week battle. If that’s what I intended to do, fine, but the truth is that I have a persistent inner conflict, wanting to vape and not wanting to vape, and I ride this roller coaster of nicotine withdrawal every time I start/quit. My mind starts playing tricks on itself…”is quitting worth it?”…”is starting worth it?”…”can’t I have this little hobby?”…”shouldn’t a hobby produce something other than chemical dependency?”…”am I better without it?”…”am I better with it?”…It might be evident that I’m 24hrs into another quit.

    • THE WORDY MOM November 24, 2017 at 4:55 pm - Reply

      Hi Stephen. So glad you took the time to comment. ‘Adult pacifier’ – you’re not kidding. That’s exactly what it’s like. And like you, I’m up and down with. Is it worth quitting? But unlike you, I’ve not made it 24 hours into a quit. I am, however, starting to get really tired of the unrewarding draw. It’s almost boring. I’d love you to keep in touch and share how you’re doing. Best of luck!

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